Thursday, October 18, 2007

Who's Afraid of Virgin Wool?

Do parallel universes exist? Of course! We get to peek into them when we watch movies! In the world we peeked into yesterday, genetically engineered sheep attacked and bit people, who in turn mutated instantly into carnivorous sheep and so on. That was in Black sheep from New Zealand. Tough place to suffer amnophobia. What an idea! Hilarious.

Not all movies are legitimate, though. Look at Babel. What promises! What premises! What pretenses! It's about prejudice, clashes of civilizations, illegal immigrants, terrorism... Well, LA crash was not a revelation and much less was Babel. Babel is not a movie. The characters do not have free will. They just do what the Masterplan says they should do. They don't even die when they bleed to death, for crying out loud, unless perhaps they happen to be Moroccan mountain boys and somewhat retarded. Spoiler! Ok, here's the real story: A deaf and very unhappy Japanese teenager (and volleyball player -- only her name is not Lynn and her father is not deaf, but he may still own a Samsung) goes about her business around Tokyo wearing a nano-mini pleated skirt (her school's uniform, presumably) and no panties. Now we got your attention.

The movie we still have to buy on DVD is Brick. And probably Little Miss Sunshine. And Kiss Kiss Bang Bang. Now, those are worlds worth beholding.


Sheep, sharks, bats, teenagers... The mightiest beast of all is our cactus Sven. He is a dark-green ball with long, curved, yellow prickles. He looks like a tanned Viking, so we call him Sven. He lurks on the coffee table and attacks careless resting feet and coffee-picking hands that intrude on his territory. He deserves to be famous.

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