Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Humanity is Underrated

... just balancing things.

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At last: Women have gradually and definitively fulfilled one of their greatest dreams, perhaps the greatest: conquered the world with their humps and turned men into their private impotent clowns. If you have been following the MTV VMAs the past few years, you will agree with us. Where have all the men gone?

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Super frogtastic financial opportunity for all you programming freaks out there! Big bucks to be made! Here is the brilliant RTGML idea that will make you rich and famous! We expect generous thank-you gifts.

We have a project to outsource.

Suppose you've sent an email message without thinking. Everybody has! You clicked "send", and before you could begin to realize the magnitude of your blunder, the message has already arrived at its destination! Everything goes so fast with email! Wouldn't it be great to have a little code in your mailer, which you can send to the same person and it would delete or scramble the latest message that you sent to them? Or you could even customize it, have it delete all of your messages with a particular subject, and so on. As long as the message has not been downloaded yet to all kinds of devices yet, problem solved!

Patent no RTGML20080924.

Monday, September 15, 2008

Shoe Porn

We thought we were life-respecting people, until we slowly came to realize what that truly means. Apparently, it means to plunge into the Darwin soup and pray you are fit enough to float; take care of your own, and prey on the rest, or let them die; (just as long as you don’t say Darwin, that's a sin.)

Apparently, the Hunter is the Son of Life; takes it as it comes. Plowing the earth and grafting trees constitute hubristic intervention. Nature has given us plenty of animals to shoot.

Those retarded farmers. Those villagers, they love their animals more than they love their own daughters, who they’d kill for the crime of falling in love.

Language, like statistics, can prove anything.

We stand corrected.

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Has somebody called you a loser? Insult them right back:

You are not even a loser; because amongst losers, you are the winner.

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Our streak of brilliant ideas continues!

What do women love unconditionally and above all and couldn’t have enough of, around them, on them, and on the computer screen? Shoes!

And men? Sex! Naked women! So the cliché goes and so Internet traffic patterns confirm! So if you want to see you revenue sky-rocket, here is your business: Shoe Porn. Women wearing nothing but beautiful shoes, doing things to each other. Both sexes would be delighted. They could even start doing nice things to each other too.

And if you really have to give the women in your business tattoos, if you really, really must, this is what you will give them: there on their lower back, where the tasteless would carve dead-black wings, you would give them a pinkish, fluffy-looking bunny tail!

Patent No RTGML20080915.

Monday, September 8, 2008

Home is where Sven is

For the hard-working people we are, we've praised laziness and vacations and easy money quite a lot through this bblogg. That’s because we can appreciate them fully!

What’s the alternative? Do nothing else but praise work? I love work! I can sit and watch people work for hours!

We are back from our lovely vacation, dear readers. As some of you know, we’ve been back for a week already. But Frog Ted needed some time to sort out the photos. We still need some time to bond with Sven properly, so we’ll now give the mike to our Frog Ted, who can’t wait to tell you all about his adventures down in Greece.

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Hey friends! It’s me, Frog Ted!

I followed Roufa and Mimi to Athens and Ancient Olympia! I have some fun pictures to show you from our trip! I have to warn you though that I didn’t take any pictures in archaeological sites, because 1) I had to buy a ticket to enter, but 2) I could not because I am not human, so 3) I was hiding in Mimi’s bag.

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Here I am, on my way to the airport! The sun is shining already!



We've just landed in Athens and Metaxa is already beckoning!



Here I am at the noisy KTEL station, from where coach buses leave to the farthest corners of Greece! And that includes a couple of islands! Don't ask me how they do that, perhaps they are amphibian buses?





In five hours Roufa will be lighting a cigarette in Ancient Olympia! No, silly, not with sunlight!



Peloponnesos, here I come!

The sea is so blue! You think it's bad for my fur?



Ghost Frog!



The best thing to fight the morning heat, and the high-noon heat, and the afternoon heat, is not Metaxa, but cold coffee, with plenty of ice: espresso freddo (left), or nescafe frappe (right), which is a half-century-old Greek invention. You can even have them without milk! That's great because cream and milk can weigh you down in the heat! You can find these things everywhere you go for 2-4 euros!



You can even find miniature ice-cream cones at the local pastry shop. Perfect for my size, Mimi told me. (What am I punished for, again, Mimi?)



I gave this new friend of mine Sven's email address.



Back in Athens, more fans of Sven!



These gals were organizing a Sven's bride competition!!



Tentacles the Wise (but Reclusive) Octopus is very highly regarded here. Take a closer look...



See?



We spent many days in Athens. Here I pose in Plaka, the old neighborhood at the foot of Acropolis! We had delicious food at the square behind me!



And here I am in Glyfada, a seaside suburb a few km south! You can see the St Constantine church on the right and behind me you can see the FNAC! Where Mimi and Roufa browsed books and DVDs, as usual. I think they are composing a world map of book and CD stores. Mimi was very happy to find the CD-single of Nickelback's Rockstar here at a bargain price! She says it's the “best, most feel-good song ever”. They've posted the lyrics on Banana's Appendix. They're nuts. (They'll give me miniature ice-cream if they read this.)


Now all this has made me very very hungry! Some baklava with kaimaki ice-cream on the side sounds perfect!

Before I go, here's a nice video we shot in the center of Athens, as the city bus was approaching the National Garden! There's some antiquity for you!