Monday, September 15, 2008

Shoe Porn

We thought we were life-respecting people, until we slowly came to realize what that truly means. Apparently, it means to plunge into the Darwin soup and pray you are fit enough to float; take care of your own, and prey on the rest, or let them die; (just as long as you don’t say Darwin, that's a sin.)

Apparently, the Hunter is the Son of Life; takes it as it comes. Plowing the earth and grafting trees constitute hubristic intervention. Nature has given us plenty of animals to shoot.

Those retarded farmers. Those villagers, they love their animals more than they love their own daughters, who they’d kill for the crime of falling in love.

Language, like statistics, can prove anything.

We stand corrected.

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Has somebody called you a loser? Insult them right back:

You are not even a loser; because amongst losers, you are the winner.

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Our streak of brilliant ideas continues!

What do women love unconditionally and above all and couldn’t have enough of, around them, on them, and on the computer screen? Shoes!

And men? Sex! Naked women! So the cliché goes and so Internet traffic patterns confirm! So if you want to see you revenue sky-rocket, here is your business: Shoe Porn. Women wearing nothing but beautiful shoes, doing things to each other. Both sexes would be delighted. They could even start doing nice things to each other too.

And if you really have to give the women in your business tattoos, if you really, really must, this is what you will give them: there on their lower back, where the tasteless would carve dead-black wings, you would give them a pinkish, fluffy-looking bunny tail!

Patent No RTGML20080915.

6 comments:

Bimmy the Bookish said...

We think we may have found the answer to Frog Ted's ice cream worries - here is a whole bunch of stuff that would give him hours of fun - with no sticky messes on the carpet - and there's even a friend for Sven too!
Take a look at this

Sheasy!

Helen McGlasson said...

Re Patent No RTGML20080915.
Maybe you could feature Tentacles Tentacles posing with some scantily clad shoe wearing beauties, announcing his latest offering?

pmp certification said...

well strange name

Roufa Tav Gosou & Mimi Lass said...

See you are now mastering the link-in-post thing, Bimmy! Excellent! And so is the link!

Helen, if only Tentacles Tentacles didn't take himself so seriously...

pmp, are you drunk? What name?

fwidman said...

I'd like more sites that show lovely ladies in high heels :)

Roufa Tav Gosou & Mimi Lass said...

Thank you, Frank! Thank you! That's the idea!