Friday, May 16, 2008

Hard science

Apparently our spying activities have been very inspiring! In revealing them online, though, we are running the risk of blowing our cover! Our computer remembers everything we do and announces himself at every place we visit; the dastardly bastard would rat on us without a second thought or the faintest trace of remorse.

If you ever engage in illegal or otherwise objectionable activities, do not let your computer know. Look what happened to poor Melanie McGuire of Brick, New Jersey.

MacGuire was convicted last year of murdering her husband William by shooting him with a gun obtained in Pennsylvania. The following search terms had been entered into Google and MSN search engines “on a computer belonging to her family” (we could be quoting Harper's magazine here, May 2008 issue, p.30, or maybe we followed the trial – it doesn't matter, does it?):

instant poisons
undetectable poisons
instant undetectable poisons
pesticide as a poison
insulin as a poison
insulin overdoses
toxic insulin levels
fatal insulin doses
euthanasia
tranquilizers
barbiturates
state gun laws
purchase guns
how to purchase guns illegally
how to purchase guns illegally in nj
how to purchase hunting rifles in nj
where to purchase guns without a permit
how to purchase guns in pennsylvania
how to commit murder

--

Luckily The Atlantic's articles are available freely online. But maybe they are less fun. In any case, in the spirit of espionage and international dealings, if you would like to read long articles regarding how to and more importantly how not to, say, smuggle enriched uranium out of Russia, that's the place to go. But not on your own computer, obviously!

--

Could you help us resolve a little dispute?

Today Roufa declared, for some reason: If science was like sex, we would have solved everything two thousand years ago. Which Mimi countered with: If science was like sex, we would be living in caves to this day! What do you think?

You don't have to cast your votes yet! Let's all ponder this over the weekend! Have fun!

4 comments:

Jillian said...

Hahaha... that's hilarious. Also, what a funny way to get caught. NOTE TO SELF: Clear browser history...

Λωτοφάγος said...

This Melanie McGuire is a very stupid person indeed!
Answering your question, I declare that I agree with Mimi, of course. Nothing changed in sex since the cavemen.

Roufa Tav Gosou & Mimi Lass said...

Yes, Jillian, be careful!

Roufa to Lotofagus: "nothing changed in sex since the cavemen? We can't possibly know that, do we?"

Only one response, guys? Are you still experimenting somewhere out there?

Frog the Dog said...

I can't really answer your science question, because although I am very good at science, I do not know anything about that other thing. You've seen the drawings of me - there are no extra bits anywhere else!
Sounds like something I should Bimmy about......